Another one bites the dust...

and another one down, and another one down, another one bites the dust!

I love that song and this week I have reasons to sing!

First, thanks goes out to all my supportive friends who have given me some amazing advice, I love you and I am listening very carefully!

John and I have made the decision that I need to be home with the kiddos! The date is set and the girls last day of school this year will be my last day at my work. Just as Todd Martin told me, my new formal job title with be MOTHER, I will dedicate my time and energies to this job completely, the hours will be 24/7 with small times out to exercise and rest, I will teach plumbing continuing education on Saturdays, and I will continue to give service to my church and my neighbors. I am excited and scared! Since making the decision I have only had one panic attack, so I am doing great!

Finally, I passed another test this week - Property Maintenance Inspector.

Yes or No - Stay or Go

I find myself constantly questioning what I should be doing with my life and for the 1st time I am going to go to my blog friends to ask advice.

Ok - it all comes down to this - Should I stay home and be with the kids or work? Should we move to Fort Worth or stay in Houston?

Now wait a minute.... I know that all my Fort Worth friends will say move back to Fort Worth and all my Houston friends will say stay here.

I really need to get my thoughts down so here goes some very serious ramblings......

I feel a very strong need to be home with my kids at this time, I know that I have always worked and I have always enjoyed my work. But, my kids really need me and I need to be there for them in the mornings and when they come home from school. I feel extremely guilty that this pressure in my heart to stay home has appeared after all my kids have already started school. Doesn't most moms stay home while their kids are little and then go to work when they are in school? I am a little backwards - does this make me crazy? And I promise you, I have been trying to ignore this desire to stay home for about a year now and I just can't seem to ignore it any longer. (the reasons could go on and on and on)

So it sounds like decision made.... NO - I am scared to death! What if we can't make it on one salary? What if I spend too much money or get bored or jealous of John for working or feel that I am not accomplishing much (remember that all my girls are in school all day) what if I get lazy and what if I am a terrible housewife and what if I hate it or John thinks I am now lazy and not doing much? The "what ifs" could keep going.

Then there is the decision of where to live - John has a great job (thanks to Metro Code) in Fort Worth - we can not find a job as good or the same pay in Houston and we have been looking for him for over a year. He doesn't mind driving back in forth temporarily but feels like the kids are growing up without him. My mom and dad are letting him stay at their house during the week and I know they would like to have their house back to themselves again sometime. Although - I fear my personal pull to go back to my love of Metro Code, which brings on a whole different problem.

I do love the family business, I love Metro Code with all my heart, I grew up and learned so much there. But, I was never good at just doing the job and not taking it home, I lived there mentally at all times and did not know how to turn the switch off. I was ignoring my family, my church and myself, I did not realize that until after I left. When I left I could not tell you why I had to go, I just did. Over the past 2 years I have learned a lot more, 1st I was very lucky to have a job where everyone loved me and I loved them. I was lucky to have the position I did, I had great clients, staff and family and regardless of how much the City drove me crazy I loved the challenges they gave me. I love CODE, I love Inspections and I love problem solving. I miss public speaking and the debate, I miss the problem solving. Most of all I miss my close family relationships, and the staff.

In saying all of this - I realize that I have a strong fear of going back to Fort Worth - I fear being so close to Metro Code that I will want to be back where I once was (not that they will take me :) ) where I am ALL Metro Code and I forget about my family, church and myself. This is a personal problem that I had and I realize it and do not want it to happen again.

In Houston right now we love our neighbors and our church family, I love my calling and my friends. I HATE moving, I do not want to move the girls again, Rachel is in High School its just not fair to her. But, I miss being so close to my mom and my sisters (my baby sister is pregnant with her first child and I don't want to miss this great time with her). We love our family and they are mostly all in Fort Worth and Arlington we want to be near them.

Lastly, I feel like I have made some bad decisions in the past (the move to El Paso) and I don't want to make this huge decision (to move or not to move - to work or not to work) without full knowledge that I am making the BEST decision.

Ok - Now that I have rambled on and on and most likely made no sense - I want to apologize if I offended anyone in this text - I just wanted to honestly state my feelings and see if anyone has any thoughts for me or will make this decision for me, please???

John and I will keep pondering - and we will be fasting - and we need to be on our knees in prayer lots more, I know! But.... I am so scared to make these decisions and say that we have made the final decision, and I know that I am confusing everyone around me - so this is my way of explaining.

Where we are leaning right now..... I need stop working by the time the kids get out of school for the summer........and Fort Worth is calling to us to return this summer. If this is the right decision - why am I so sad and scared? UGH!

City Council Recognition

Over the years I have been able to certify in many areas of my trade as a building inspector. When I first started working with my father we contracted for a small town near Fort Worth. I did all the code enforcement inspections and citations for the city. During that time the Fire Marshal wanted to take over the code enforcement division, which began a small friendly war between the two of us. The war was who could get their code enforcement officer license first. Since he worked for the city he was able to take the code enforcement 36 hour class that took him away from work for a week. I could not, so I just signed up for the test and took it. I passed with flying colors the problem was they would not recognize me without taking the class. It was a mistake on their part to allow me to take the test without the class credits first. They never thought someone would try to take the test without the class... So many years later - I still never found the time to take the class. I mean seriously my thought was WHY... Why should I take a class for something I already knew.

Then I started working for the City of Rosenberg last year. Normally, they require that the building inspectors have code enforcement license, but with my other certifications and licenses they did not require this of me. I just felt like I should finish something that I started so long ago. The rules had changed, there was a lengthy application to fill out for the State of Texas to approve you, the 36 hour course, and then finally the test. I am very excited to say that the class was a lot of fun and I learned a lot (who would have known - lol) and a week later I passed the test. Now the test was a 2 hour, 55 question test - I took the test in 20 minutes - it was truly the easiest test I've ever taken.

Then the surprise - the City of Rosenberg awarded me with a Certificate of Recognition the past Tuesday night at City Council and my whole department came out to support me. Johanna Garcia is our permit technician and she decided to be the first permit clerk in Rosenberg to take her Permit Technician Test and she passed as well and they recognized her also. She is standing with me and the Mayor of Rosenberg with our Department Manager Lt Wayne Jory. I had the girls go to see what City Council was like and to see me get the certificate, it was a good night.